Shirley
Canada
I was driving to work when I became aware of my foot tapping gently on the pedal. I thought it strange, but as it soon stopped I shrugged it off. Again it happened, the gentle tapping. It began to happen more frequently, Again I had no idea what it was but was not unduly concerned.
Things started going downhill very quickly after that. My parking spot was about two blocks from the office where I worked. It was unbelievable but I could no longer walk that distance with ease. My son drove me to work so I wouldn't have to face the walk that left me weak and trembling.
It was time to see my doctor of 15 years. I dragged myself to his office. The nurse gave me a look of concern as I explained that I was having trouble walking and everything I did was an effort. I looked into my doctor’s eyes and asked the question that had been nagging me “Am I dying? It feels like dying”. My doctor assured me I wasn’t dying but something was very wrong. ALS and PD were mentioned. I knew very little about ALS or PD but I knew enough to be very frightened.
My next visit was to a neurologist. After a c-scan I was diagnosed with PD. I felt somewhat relieved that I didn't have ALS but......... what was PD all about? I knew so little yet I asked no questions. Why didn’t I question my doctor, learn everything I could about this debilitating disease? I can only surmise that I was convinced the less l knew the less I had to deal with. A form of denial? Of course. but that was all I could cope with at that time.
My neurologist prescribed sinemet and told me, “You will feel so much better in 6 weeks you will fly into my office." Fly? I could barely walk!! But do you know what? I did fly!!
Sinemet gave me back my life. I could not believe the change! It was remarkable! The doctor had stressed exercise. I had practiced aerobics for a few years and I considered returning to it. But I realized it was expecting too much so I started to walk instead.
With my walking program underway I quickly left behind the slow, shuffling steps and strode like my old self. I rose every day at 5:30 - I was no longer working – and walked. I started with 1 block to the mail box and 1 block back. I had to lean on the box to rest before I could begin the walk back. I gradually increased the distance until I was walking 1 hour a day.
I began learning more about PD and I was terrified at what this disease might have in store for me – loss of speech and stiffening joints. I was still afraid of the truth but was at least willing to know it.
I continued my walking program adding yoga, aqua fitness and eventually regular massages to the mix. For about 7 years I felt good, not sick and almost symptom- free. I was very grateful for my mild case and hoped it would continue at this pace. However in the past few months my PD wakened and I began feeling all the old fears again. I am not symptom-free but I can cope with what I have - for now anyway.
I feel I have been in a power struggle with PD - not any more. PD is staying here with me whether I like it or not so I must learn to co-exist and not feel I am fighting every day for control. There is life after PD. I pray for the strength to continue with my program and with the love and support of my family and friends, life will be worth living.
